Po francosko

English

Kako poslovenimo bureau? Če gre za prostor, je to pisarna, to mi je jasno. Če gre za del organizacije, potem morda biro, čeravno mi to zveni nekam nenavadno. Iz otroštva se spomnim besede politbiro, ne vedoč kaj točno je to bilo. Vsekakor nekaj slabega, če pa ne to, pa vsaj nekaj, s čimer se v nobenem primeru ne strinjamo. Kakorkoli.

Še najbolj enostavno bo, če rečem, da moram enkrat mesečno na sestanek, ker sem del organizma, ki ga Francozi imenujejo bureau. Mednarodna ekipa odgovornih za 6 kontinentov in za večje pastoralne projekte, med katerimi so tudi mladi. Obravnavamo sprotne teme in (pogosto) problematiko življenja Emanuela … v Skupnosti, ki v svetovnem merilu šteje onkraj 12.000 članov, točk dnevnega reda ne zmanjka. Navadno se nas za 2 ali 3 dni zbere okrog 15, največkrat v Parizu, kjer imamo svoje upravne prostore. Da ne bom izzvenel preveč tehnicistično: četudi ves ta čas sestankujemo, je to prijetna dolžnost, ker vsakič znova dobivam vpogled ne samo v dogajanje v Emanuelu, temveč v celotnem svetu. Skoraj neprecenljiva izkušnja, vsekakor pa brez primere.

Sestavni del vsakokratnega srečanja je seveda evharistija. V spodnjih prostorih centrale smo si uredili precej lepo kapelo, ki ima lično oblikovan oltar in stenske poslikave. Vsakič, ko sem tam, se počutim nebeško, ker v prostoru vlada nenavaden mir, ikone pa to izkušnjo samo okrepijo. Kakšnih 50 zaposlenih pred pavzo za kosilo pride k evharistiji, ki se ji pridružimo tudi člani biroja. Enkrat v času posameznega sestankovanja to mašo prevzamem jaz, kar pa mi predstavlja precejšen izziv. Pred vsem temi Parižani in nekaj tujci moram maševati in pridigati po francosko. Pa ne gre toliko za dejstvo francoščine, v kateri se konec koncev počutim povsem domače, sploh kadar gre za biblični jezik in pridigo. Gre bolj za dejstvo, da imam pred seboj publiko, ki je z vidika duhovne izkušnje precejšnja poznavalka, z vidika umetnosti izražanja pa seveda tipično francoska. Nadvse nenavadno, če že ne šokantno, bi bilo, da bi se zgodila evharistija brez pridige. Kar je sicer skladno z rimskim misalom in torej normalna stvar, ki jo popolnoma podpiram tudi sam. Le da se mi včasih zgodi skušnjava, da bi za pridigo predlagal trenutek tišine, ker preprosto nimam energije za pripravo kratke misli po francosko. Pri njih je tako, da se sicer zgodi, da ti kdo prišepne Hvala za pridigo, sicer pa tam pohvala zveni bolj v smislu Ni slabo. Skratka, v ospredju je visoki standard pridigarja, šele nato oseba, ki se skriva za tem duhovnikom. Kultura, s katero si nismo zelo domači, pa bi si lahko bili.

Predvsem pa sem se precej časa boril z mislijo, zakaj mi je tega treba. Zakaj moram početi stvari, ki so mi tako neprijetne? In zakaj morajo biti na spisku vsakdanjih obveznosti tudi te neprijetne stvari? Sprašujem se, če se to dogaja še drugim … da enostavno morajo početi stvari, ki jim niso pri srcu. Je pa res, da sem točno preko te izkušnja odkril dvoje pomembnih načel. Prvo je zagotovo to, da se ne smem jemati preveč resno, temveč majhne nerodnosti (ki na vsake toliko postanejo tudi večje) sprejemati s kančkom humorja. Drugo pa je vračanje k resnici, da ni vse v mojih rokah. So stvari, ki se ne zgodijo zaradi moje popolne pripravljenosti, temveč bolj zaradi mojih nerodnosti, da ne rečem uboštva. O, dragoceno doživetje!

English

Frenchy

I’m not sure if a bureau would be a proper translation into English … it sounds somewhat weird to me. As far as I know, it can mean a desk or a department but in my case?

The easiest would be to say that I have to attend monthly meetings because I am a member of a board which the French call bureau. It is an international team of people with overall responsibility for the six continents and for the most significant pastoral projects, one of which would be the youth ministry. We discuss daily life and (often) difficulties in the Community. There are over 12000 members of Emmanuel worldwide, and therefore we never run out of the subjects we need to discuss. Around 15 of us usually gather in Paris (that’s where our headquarters are) for 2 or 3 days. I don’t want to sound too bureaucratic, thou. Although we have meetings for the most of the time, I live it as a satisfying duty because every single time I get a chance to hear what is going on not only in the Community but in the whole world. I consider it a valuable experience.

The Holy Eucharist is, of course, a part of every meeting. We put in place quite a beautiful chapel, with an engaging altar and lovely wall paintings, on the ground floor of our headquarters. Every time I come to the chapel I feel somewhat heavenly because of the divine peace which is only reinforced by the icons. Some 50 employees gather at the holy Eucharist there before they take a lunch break. The members of the bureau usually join them, and that’s when I get to preside. That is quite challenging because I have to do it in front of all those Parisian and some other foreigners with the mass and the sermon being in French. I quite master it and feel utterly confident if it’s about the biblical terminology, so it’s not that much about the language. It more about the fact that the public is quite knowledgeable when coming to the spiritual experience, and very Frenchy when it comes to the art of expressing things. It would be bizarre – if not scandalous – to have a holy Eucharist without a sermon. That is of course entirely following the Roman Missal, and hence I agree. Just that sometimes I might have a temptation to suggest a moment of silence instead of doing a sermon. All this because I lack the energy to prepare something short and Frenchy. After the mass, there might be French who eventually say Thanks for the sermon, but a more typical Frenchy compliment sounds more like a Not bad. I guess the concentrate on a very high standard of a homilist and only then come a person who happens to be the priest. It’s another point of view.

What I have been especially fighting with is a thought: Why do I need to do all this? Why do I need to do things which are so unpleasant? And why do they need to be on the obligatory to-do list? I am wondering if other people also go through similar feelings. To be obliged to do things which they don’t necessarily like to do. It is true, thou, that I have learned two important things because of it. The first thing is the fact that I shouldn’t consider myself too seriously but rather accept little awkwardnesses (which from time to time become bigger) with a bit of humor. Secondly, I have been coming back to the fact that not everything depends on me. There are things which don’t go well because of my me being perfectly prepared but because of me being perfectly awkward, not to say poor. How rich is that!