Marsikdaj sem zasledil, da je ta ali oni prekinil pojavljanje v socialnih omrežjih. Po moji oceni sta najbolj priljubljena dva pristopa: odmik v postnem času in popolna prekinitev v mesecu avgustu. Doslej si nikoli nisem zares predstavljal, da bi bilo nekaj podobnega primerno tudi zame. Prvič zato, ker se na socialnih omrežjih itak ne pojavljam tako pogosto; drugič pa zato, ker nikoli doslej nisem zares čutil občutno preobremenjenost ali utrujenost. Pa vendar sem kar nekaj tednov premišljeval to misel: da bi se za nek določen čas umaknil iz socialnih medijev. Ideja in zgled tolikih me je preprosto vlekla. In sploh, umika nisem potreboval zaradi pretiranega stresa ali utrujenosti. Pač pa sem si rekel, v kolikor bi se umaknil, bi si preprosto privoščil okus življenja, kot sem ga poznal kot otrok, kot dijak in do neke točke kot študent. Odklopil sem se torej proti koncu poletja. Privoščil sem si ogromno prostega časa od vseh možnih povezav. Nisem pa želel samo ostati pri odklopu, temveč se mi je zdelo, da izkušnjo ovrednotim. Ključni blagodejni sadovi mojega prvega zavestnega odklopa so:
1. Ponovno doživetje dolgčasa; kratko, a resnično. Občutek je bil nadvse nenavaden: zgodilo se je, da sem imel kratke trenutke, ko nisem imel nobene ideje ali naloge, ki bi me čakala v naslednjem trenutku. Zgodilo se je tudi, da sem se usedel na stol ali na kavč ter v tišini zrl v prazno sobo. Če sem povsem iskren: sredi dolgčasa. Še enkrat, bilo je zelo nenavadno. Najprej zato, ker me je nemudoma pograbil val občutkov, da si moram kar se da hitro postaviti neko nalogo; nadalje pa zato, ker se preprosto nisem spomnil, kdaj sem bil nazadnje sredi podobne situacije. In točno ob tem sem se skoraj zgrozil in si rekel, da bi bilo dobrodejno, če bi mi bilo v življenju vsake toliko dolgčas.
2. Več dni zapored brez telefonu v žepu. Spet, zelo nenavadno. Tako zelo sem se navadil na to, da imam telefon vedno na dosegu roke, da me je prazen žep nemalo begal. Že zato, ker na nogi nisem občutil aparata, predvsem pa zato, ker potemtakem nisem mogel ne-vem-kolikokrat-na-dan opraviti tistega avtomatičnega giba: sežem v žep, s palcem odklenem ekran in se dotaknem ene od ikone. V vsakdanjem življenju si sicer ne predstavljam biti brez njega, sem ga pa začel bolj sistematično ugašati ali za določen čas puščati stran od sebe.
3. Prostost od misli Kakšni so odzivi na objavo? Lahko, da nisem bil odvisen in da nisem zapadel v impulzivno klikanje … godilo mi je pa vseeno, ko sem ugotavljal koliko odziva je sprožila objava. Da bi lahko v končni fazi vseeno priznal, da sem na nek skrivnosten način vendar odvisen od šusa všečkov. Nekaj tedenska prostost od pregledovanja odzivov je vsekakor izkušnja svobode. Sprašujem pa se, kako naj jo živim tudi v prihodnje.
4. Precejšnje število obrokov brez gledanja na uro. Bilo je kot na dopustu: kolikokrat nisem niti vedel, koliko časa sem porabil za zajtrk. Ker se mi pač nikamor ni mudilo in ker pred seboj nisem imel spiska nalog, ki so me čakale v dopoldnevu. Podobno se mi je dogajalo pri kosilu in pri večerji. Pač ne vsakič, zagotovo pa pogosto. Vrednost obrokov brez pozornosti željnih ekranov in vsakovrstnih drugih prekinitev sicer poznam že od nekdaj, opažam pa, da se je treba za obroke boriti ter si izboriti zadosti svobode.
5. Večerno posedanje in srkanje česa dobrega. Stvar je bila precej preprosta. Večere sem tradicionalno in zelo spontano pogosto preživljal ob računalniku … vedno imam namreč kaj za napisati, pogledati, odgovoriti. Skratka, delo se vedno najde. Ko pa si odklopljen, ti ne preostane drugega, kot da se usedeš na kavč v dnevni sobi. In če se ti pridruži še kdo, si privoščiš klepet ob za takšno priložnosti primerni pijači. Nadvse blagodejno.
6. Nadpovprečno branje tiskanega besedila. Odklop od medijev in sploh od interneta je pomenil, da sem pograbil tisk. Zgodilo se je, da sem prebral knjigo, še bolj pa, da sem paberkoval po razno raznih knjigah, ki jih sicer niti nisem utegnil pogledati. In sploh, občutek ob branju knjige ali kako drugače natisnjenega besedila je bil neznansko dobrodejen.
Zdaj sem spet nazaj, povezan, a navdušen nad pavzo. Moral jo bom še kdaj ponoviti, vsekakor pa priporočam.
English
Give me a break
Many times I have noticed that this or that person has stopped appearing on social media. In my estimation, the two most popular approaches are a shift in Lent and a complete break in August. So far, I’ve never really imagined that something like this would also be appropriate for me. Firstly, I don’t appear on social media that often anyway; and secondly, I had never really felt significantly overwhelmed or tired before identifying the need for a break. And yet, for quite a few weeks, I pondered this thought: to withdraw from social media for a while. The idea and example of so many simply drew me. And in general, I didn’t need a retreat due to excessive stress or fatigue. But I said to myself, if I withdrew, I would simply indulge in the taste of life as I knew it as a child, a teenager, and to some extent as a student. So I disconnected towards the end of the summer. I took a massive amount of free time from all possible connections. Not only did I want to stay disconnected, but I felt like I was evaluating the experience. The vital beneficial fruits of my first conscious disconnection are:
1. Re-experiencing boredom; short but genuine. The feeling was highly unusual: I happened to have brief moments when I had no idea or task waiting for me the next moment. It also happened that I sat down on a chair or on the couch and stared in silence into an empty room. To be completely honest: in the middle of boredom. Again, it was very unusual. First of all, I was seized by a wave of feelings. I had to set myself a task as quickly as possible; furthermore, I simply did not remember the last time I was in the middle of a similar situation. And right at that point, I was almost horrified and said to myself that it would be beneficial if I got bored every now and then in my life.
2. For several days in a row without a phone in my pocket. Again, very unusual. I got so used to having my phone always at hand that my empty pocket confused me. I didn’t feel the touch on my leg. Still, mainly because I couldn’t make that automatic move I don’t-know-how-many-times-a-day: I reach into my pocket, use my thumb to unlock the screen, I touch one of the icons. In everyday life, I can’t imagine being without him. Still, I started to turn it off more systematically or leave it away from me for a while.
3. Freedom of What are the responses to the post? It may be that I wasn’t addicted and that I didn’t fall into impulsive clicking… I enjoyed it anyway when I was figuring out how much response a particular post triggered. To be able to finally admit that I am in some mysterious way dependent on buzzes of likes. A few weeks of not reviewing responses is definitely an experience of freedom. But I wonder how I should live it in the future.
4. A significant number of meals without looking at the clock. It was like on vacation: so many times I didn’t even know how much time I spent at breakfast. Because I was in no hurry because I did not have a list of tasks waiting for me in the morning. A similar thing happened to me at lunch and dinner. Not every time, to be sure, but certainly often. I have always known the value of meals without the attention of eager screens and all sorts of other interruptions. Still, I notice that it is necessary to fight for free meals.
5. Sit down in the evening and sipping something good. The thing was pretty simple. Traditionally and very spontaneously, I have spent my evenings at the computer… there is always something to write, to look at, to answer. In short, there is always work to be done. But when you’re disconnected, you have no choice but to sit on the couch in the living room. And if someone else joins you, you can indulge in a chat with a drink suitable for such an occasion. Extremely beneficial.
6. Above-average reading of printed texts. Disconnecting from the media and the internet, in general, meant I grabbed the printed press. I would read a book or simply browse various books that I might not have even looked at. And in general, the feeling of reading a book or otherwise printed text was excellent.
Now I’m back again, connected but excited about the break. I’ll have to repeat it someday, but I definitely recommend it.
